Talking to yourself.
Have you ever had a conversation with a friend and they suddenly react in a way that you never expected? Were you surprised and confounded by the level of anger or shock they displayed? Have some of your conversations caused so much ill-feeling between you and someone else that it has totally destroyed your relationship? Are you left wishing that you could take it all back?
Conversely, have you been on the receiving end of words from a friend, partner, child, or family member that struck deep? Were you so offended or devastated that they could be so thoughtless? Were their words so harsh that you were overcome by feelings and left speechless? You no longer hear anything else they have to say. You are left wondering how they could be so hurtful and seem to be completely unaware of the pain they have caused.
Words are powerful. Every word we speak has energy. The problem is that each one of us has a unique experience in life. One word can have multiple meaning to us depending on what life has dealt us thus far. While a word may not mean anything harmful to you, it holds damaging results for someone else.
At least in communicating with others, we can witness this dilemma. Hopefully, subsequent conversations enable us to understand why someone has reacted to something we said. We may have an opportunity to express to others how the language they used sent us into an emotional whirlpool. If this has not been possible and a relationship has remained broken, we can at least learn how to take better care when communicating.
There has always been a big focus on how we speak to others. We have been instructed to "think before we speak" and reminded that once words are spoken, they cannot be withdrawn. Yet the greatest damage we can do with language is in fact, to ourselves.
Think about the thoughts that wander through you mind throughout the day. Are they loving or are you in fact, your greatest critic? Think about the times you tell yourself that you are "stupid" or "useless" or "ugly". Do you repeat phrases about yourself (often with a laugh) that you would never dare to say to someone else?
Recently, I caught myself repeating the phrase "my tiny little brain" over and over again. I was amazed that I would use language that diminished my intelligence! Having discovered this detrimental habit, I changed it to "my marvellous, miracle mind" whenever I found myself saying it again. I realised that the phrase was cutting down my confidence and my ability to trust my own judgement.
When you treat yourself so poorly, how can you truly manage what you say to others? Every time you speak, your communication is hampered by the filter of damage you do to yourself hundreds of times every day. I encourage you to begin listening closely to the thoughts you have about yourself and the catchphrases you glibly use in your daily language
Words have power. Choose to use the kindest, most encouraging works for yourself and see how the positive energy filters into your conversation with others and improves your relationships exponentially.
Sheridan Morris
Well Said & Associates
